Tag: self doubt

Blog Post #7: Balancing Self-Doubt While Making New Habits

C. L. GrossLeave a comment

Insecurities run rampant in the minds of all people,Habitehow do we release ourselves from the grip of fear and allow ourselves to spread our wings and achieve our goals?  

Insecurity is Hell.  It holds us back from chasing our wildest dreams towards happiness, it wracks us with fear and self doubt, it distorts our view of reality, changes how we perceive the world around us, and turns ourselves inwards when we fear the criticism of others.  So, how do we break out of this cycle, and give ourselves the opportunities to live out our dreams?

First, we need to accept that we are humans, that we make mistakes, sabotage ourselves, become engulfed in our emotions, or any other fallacy.  Chasing your dreams does not come for free, losses will be met but in exchange lessons are learned, knowledge is received.

Secondly, we need to allow ourselves to succeed by properly planning and forgiving ourselves if we come up short.  This is something I still struggle with now, and even though I generally feel like every week I get closer to my personal goals, I also feel like I slip back into old, die-hard habits of my youth.  The main take-away of this factor is to make a plan that you can reasonably stick to, implement the plan as best as possible, and keep track of your successes and losses in implementing the changes.  Don’t get emotionally hung up on the fact that you didn’t meet your word count goals this week if you’ve been making an effort to try to keep your house more clean or workout every day. (Hell, don’t get hung up at all even if you miss everything, because this probably means you’re expecting too much of yourself, and perpetuating your own self-guilt and demoralization is not going to help you do more the next day!) Everything is a give and take, and making changes in some areas will mean other areas need to be slacked temporarily, with the main goal being to successfully juggle all aspects, but everything takes time, especially implementing new habits which is why…

Thirdly, give yourself the time and don’t rush. Everyone wants instant gratification, but things worth working for do not (generally) come instantly.  All the great craftsmen of all trades had to work constantly at being a better artisan, and this took years of perseverance and struggle, but being the best you can be at something is all based on the journey as you learn more.

Make sure to temper your disillusionment with the reality that change is difficult, and to give yourself the time and space to grow.

 

 

Blog Post #5: Writing the First Draft; Just Get the Words on the Page, Seriously

C. L. GrossLeave a comment

Second guessing ourselves is natural in the creative spirits, but second guessing also delays our own creative processes by introducing unnecessary insecurity and self turmoil. Learning to let go and just accept the process is key.

Currently, I am 13 chapters into the first draft of my first novel, and it’s a humbling experience to say the least. When I first began on this creative passion project, I thought that getting the first draft was going to be so easy after nailing down the “details” in my outline, but when I began actually fleshing out the world I was building, I realized that there was so much more that I had not accounted for. This, naturally, meant more time was necessary to complete this draft, which made me very insecure and frustrated with myself. I had to let go of those initial expectations when I saw that they were unrealistic.

“Just get the words on the page” at first sounds placating, like yes, thank you, never thought of that before. Often when I heard this advice on YouTube I would snub my nose at it, thinking if it was so easy to just put the words on paper and write out a good story, wouldn’t all books be great then? What I hadn’t taken into consideration was the polishing and improvement that comes with each round of revision and edits. I naively believed that I could get a best selling book on the first attempt, which is obviously not how best sellers are created.

Getting the words on the page is letting caution fly in the wind, it’s letting go of high expectations and coming to terms with what your skill is at the time of writing. It’s realizing that even if you delete everything that you’ve written in two hours, you still spent two hours honing your craft and practicing how to write better. It’s finding peace in the process.

So I encourage you as a writer to write down the words even if they feel like the most juvenile and underwhelming writing you’ve ever mustered out of yourself. Often times it’s not that bad when read later, and even if it is you can revise or remove it.